Everyman's Journal 2011

Everyman's Journal 2011, #23

I view myself these days as a 'householder monk', meaning I am functionally living a hardworking artist/monk life in a household setting instead of a monastery. This view has arisen gradually, simply out of noticing the direction the flow of my life is carrying me, which is 'more and more settled, more and more organized, more and more interconnected-in-service with the community of awakening beings who are in my life, either locally or at a distance'.

As with all things phenomenal, this state of being arrives as a 'consciously unrequested' gift, being delivered as result of the natural response of my heart to the ever-changing circumstances of my life by a creative source deeply aware of my real needs. In other words, when I came to Yuma 15 months ago there was no long term vision, there was just the knowing I was called. And my focus was on my father primarily, something in me assuming Mom would accept membership in the home of one of my sisters after Dad died. At first, I didn't anticipate that Mom had her own ideas about her future, and was not about to abandon them. But as I was around more, I caught on, and as that happened, I began to get the 'downloads for on high' that Mom and me had a 'team' destiny, at least for a while. And that is what has come to pass, Mom leaving the assisted living home a couple of months after Dad passed away, to return to her home which I have been caring for.

I've been watching since then the re-emergence of her personal beingness. It's like her whole life has been preparing her for right now, and it's like my whole life has been preparing me for right now too, but in completely different ways. I think she thought she knew who I was... I definitely thought I knew who she was..... but both of us are (almost inadvertently) practicing that beautiful practice of 'not knowing', at least enough for there to be loving wiggle-room for each other in new and different flavored ways.

There's no pressure either way, but we are both getting to be ourselves. I expose her regularly to new stuff, and she gets what she gets. Sometimes, in my opinion (which I know better than to believe in) she's fairly clueless socially, sometimes she's perceptive and wise. See where I get it from?

I am currently doing an 'art-for-deep tissue bodywork' trade, and Jenni comes to our home each week. Mom has never seen this kind of therapy, and never listened to the kinds of conversations that happen between Jenni and I as she works on me on my massage table set up in the living room. But Mom is choosing to be present, session after session, sometimes reading, sometimes working on her genealogy, like as if my therapy is a favorite TV show she doesn't want to miss. Sometimes she forgets she's not the one being worked on, and starts up a conversation about whatever is currently important to her. Nobody resists, or tells her 'that's not the way it's done', or suggests she find something to do elsewhere. She's just included, just like in the life of 'non-accidental' spiritual practice, all things that occur are included simply because they Are Happening.

The other day, as one of my four sisters was here visiting and stimulating activity on projects that I had not yet gotten around to, I told Mom she was just like her companion dog Lady.... "Mom, I let you out of the house and pretty soon there's a mess I have to clean up!" (She and sis had gotten out the pruning shears and 'gone to town' on the lemon tree, but I was the one who was 'privileged' to clean up the debris). We had a good laugh. Which is good, for somehow hearing my mother laughing heals something deep in me.... don't know exactly what, but something very old (but very young too).

At the Wednesday evening Buddhist meditation, there was a lot of discussion about karma as it relates to mindfulness. Clearly, living with my mother is an opportunity for mindful karma completion, for although we are very different, we are still very much alike also. And just like it was my assignment last year to give my father a transition that was fully supported by a loving and present-in-person son, it evolves that my blood family karma continues, now including the gift of learning to be completely self-expressed and authentically myself while living with my mother. As family of origin dysfunctionalities often have throw me/us/you (I'll bet) into very stuck adolescent remissions, with all of it's comedy-script insanities, it is amazing to me how smoothly this karma is being eaten. Primarily on a miracle diet, you might say, of mother and son forgiving the past....

What else would be better.... for a hardworking householder monk... than to have his mother be in charge of his monastery? :-). Somewhere there must be a God behind all this....... :-)

Namaste,

David

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My partnership request.... Please consider yourself an important gateway this message is passing through on its way to others. Please do 'send it on'. Thank you.

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Rev. David Seacord

Fine Art Painter / Sufi Cherag

david@davidseacord.com

www.davidseacord.com

(my fine art website)

www.davidseacord-everymansjournal.blogspot.com

(archived writings and poetry, circa 2002 to 2004)

www.davidseacord-acimcommentaries.blogspot.com

(archived 2010 writings on the lessons of A Course in Miracles)

www.everymansjournal2011.blogspot.com

(archived entries of this years Everyman's Journal)