Everyman's Journal 2011

Everyman's Journal 2011, #16

January 17

My normally somewhat shy mother finally took the step to ask me to give her a ride to her local Methodist church service yesterday, and fretted a lot about not getting there on time because she might not wake up early enough to get ready. When I phoned her to make sure she was awake, she was, then suggested I take her in my car "so you can go on to your church"...

As 'my church' didn't start until 11 (two more hours), I had time for an adventure or two. After an exploratory stop at a tool store I love, the spiritual adventure I ended up having was spontaneously attending the other new thought gathering in Yuma at its 10 am service (before going on [and being a bit later getting] to 'my' usual service at 11). I had hear my inner whisper say 'there's something for you there'.

And there was. A quiet little lesson in humility. And completion of the past.

First of all, because when new in Yuma, I had attended several times last winter/spring and also performed musically when I did, I couldn't sneak in unrecognized and just be incognito while I discovered what I was doing there. Nope, none of that. The minister lady saw me instantly, and warmly welcomed me. I have to confess I have spent many months avoiding that moment, as when we last had spoken, to me it did not seem that we were 'so harmonious', and as a result of that, I had switched to attending the other church. Anyway, the gift of going back was to discover and exercise my ability to suspend that dormant judgement conversation , and 'create appreciation' instead. For under her leadership the group was growing, and her message was full of connections that seemed especially meant for my ears to hear. It was clear it was non-accidental that I had been steered to attend.

If you have ever been reading these Commentaries and reacted to something I said, wondering to yourself 'what is this guy doing being a spiritual writer for anyway?', ...and then later at another time, read something that was genuinely helpful and which you felt a true appreciation for.... well, it was like that for me yesterday at this church. Because I saw that I had been living a story about this minister that clearly had nothing to do with how the Boss saw her... and since her Boss was my Boss too, it was clear I had been missing 'getting her'.

Well, this is what time is for, right? You get jammed up, you take some space, you grow a bit, you get sent back to that frying pan, and you find out if you can sail through the stuff that used to hook you. If you can, you be grateful for the lessons that you learned well enough while taking space to make it through without getting hooked again on something else.

Then, you forgive yourself for the errors, and return to your peace. At least, that is what I did.

And this is what I learned on that little adventure: In accepting Life 'as it is', I accept I am not in charge of second-guessing The Way. In accepting Life, I yield to it, and notice that my place in it is defined and bounded by what I am willing to be responsible for. As all beings exist within the same agreements, it is impossible that they be misplaced, although it is possible that I may or may not recognize that. To grow, it is my job to recognize all this is perfect lawful dharma. Such surrender completes the past, leaving the future empty, and available for creation with integrity.

To have our future be empty and available with integrity is the same as having space for life to be exactly as it is. And this space ends the battles of the judgmental mind. What is left is just to BE. And then, the mystery that that takes me to: that even deeper than 'just Being' is 'Being Responsible for Being'.

Everyman's Journal 2011

Monday, January 17, 2011

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